Note: The following blog was written on April 22, 2005

I've received the following spam email and have lots
of fun with it. So I hope it will start your day with
some laughs.

All the names have been changed except the guilty one
(Ken). I've make some comments in the text. I do not
dispute or endorse the FS method discussed in the

However, we can learn a lot from this spam as it
covers lots of classic marketing skills, applicable to
other fields besides FS.




Dear Ken,

That's right - you can earn a million dollars! You
won't have to leave your house or apartment. You
don't even have to make a phone call. All you need to
do is rearrange your furniture. Clean a special area
of your kitchen. Or hang a mirror on the correct
wall. It's easy - once you know the secret!

Yes, Ken! Feng Shui Master XXX, wants to reveal to
you an ancient Chinese secret that will show you how
to turn your home into a powerful magnet for wealth
and good fortune.

XXX's rags-to-riches story is so incredible, I
simply have to let him tell it to you directly, in his
own words.

First, I want to thank (spammer's name) for
giving me this chance to speak to you.

My name is XXX. I was born to a poor family in
China in 1935, and began my education with the very
selective XXX FENG SHUI School of Buddhist monks when
I was a child of eight. There I was taught the
closely guarded secrets of FENG SHUI that can provide
the "3 Great Blessings" of Health, Happiness and
Prosperity to those who understand its mysteries.
(Ken: GM Lin should be flattered by this sincere

Years later, after we'd escaped the Communist
regime in China, I used the wisdom I had attained as a
master of FENG SHUI to help my parents make a fortune!

Knowing that I had given riches and security to
my parents filled me with pride. Despite my
schooling, I am a devout Christian and I vowed that I
would use my mastery of FENG SHUI not for my own
profit, but to help other people like you, Ken - good,
honest people who struggle every day to make ends

To me, FENG SHUI was the key to making the
American dream come true - the promise that anyone,
with enough luck and the right help, can become
magnificently wealthy!
(Ken: this is a real pro! He knows we need money and enough

Successful businessmen around the world have
already cashed in on this ancient miracle of wealth
and power. Major magazines and newspapers have
reported how Michael Ovitz and Donald Trump, two of
America's most dynamic tycoons, have consulted
traditional masters of this powerful art to help
design and bless their offices. It is said you can
see its principles in the design of the Trump Tower!
(Ken: Donald Trump has filed bankruptcy a few months
ago. Fortunately, he did not admit using FS in his
book "How to Get Rich¡¨, so his problems has nothing
to do with FS.)

Citibank, Chase Asia, PaineWebber, the Asian Wall
Street Journal
-- all respected, conservative
financial institutions -- as well as the firm of
renowned architect I.M. Pei are a few of the more
prominent businesses that have paid thousands of
dollars to have this secret of gaining and preserving
their staggering fortunes. But YOU don't have to!
(Ken: This is great copy-writing¡ no need to pay big
bucks to use FS! I'd have save tons of tuition fees if
I've bought this guide years ago.)

I want YOU to use the power of FENG SHUI
to attract money, good luck and happiness.
I'm going to give you the key to a new life of
luxury and freedom, because I think that anyone who
wants to be rich should have a chance to make that
dream come true. That's why I've put all of these
remarkable secrets into one clear and simple guide
I've called
(Ken: Master XXX must be inspired by instant noodles)

Here's what FENG SHUI did for one client of mine,
J.G. of Oakland, CA:
"I had a table and a mirror in my front hallway.
According to you, it was blocking the flow of positive
energy into my home. I moved the table and changed
the mirror to the other wall. Two days later I got a
call from a lawyer. A distant relative I had never
heard of had just died. He left me $500,000.00 in his
will. How's that for positive energy!?"
(Ken: President Bush probably will ban this guide or
our relatives will die like flies.)

FENG SHUI could work for you as it did for J.G.
and hundreds of my clients. And you won't have to
spend years learning mystical secrets like I did. You
won't have to pay the outrageous fees that
millionaires pay to other FENG SHUI masters.
(Ken: Again, this is very convincing. FS masters will
be out of business.)

I'm offering all the secrets of Asia's most
closely guarded mystery at an amazingly low price
because I want to see good people like you -
hard-working citizens - enjoy the fun and freedom of
being incredibly rich!
(Ken: Hope it is also for hardly-working folks like me

These are some of the amazing discoveries you'll
find in my secret guide, FENG SHUI: xxx INSTANT WEALTH

What your front door opens up to - how it can bring in
good luck.

The arrangement of furniture in your living room -
creates a whirlwind of positive energy that delivers
money through telephone or mail.
(Ken: This is a new invention¡ wealth through phone
and mail.... is it phone sex?)

That special part of your kitchen - clean it once a
day and increase your chances of winning the lottery.
(Ken: Smart copy-writing; just increase your chance,
no guarantee)

The ceiling in your bedroom - it can energize your sex
life, attracting rich lovers.
(Ken: Wow! Great sex and money, who can refuse this

The direction of your bed - allows dreams to reveal
lucky numbers.
(Ken: Also works on dreams!)

Do you have a mirror? I'll tell you exactly
where to hang it so it turns your home into a beacon
of light that attracts money energy. I'm sure you
love the sound of wind chimes. So do the prosperity
spirits you'll draw to your home. I'll show you how
to hang your chimes and create the special music that
brings the sound of money into your life!
(Ken: I think it is more to Master xxx's life.)

There's one special corner in your living room.
Put a red object there and your money doubles within
two weeks! That's right - DOUBLES! Find out where
that corner is in my secret guide, FENG SHUI: xxx
(Ken: I make sure my wife will not sit there or my
pain will be doubled.)

Did you know that a small aquarium, if placed
correctly, cleans your room of all negative energy?
Or that a plant, growing in the right spot, makes that
area a fertile ground for spirits of abundance? With
FENG SHUI, these spirits establish themselves in your
home and become powerful money-making forces!
(Ken: I don't know spirits like fertilizers)

I'm saving the best for last. Here's an amazing

there for 10 minutes a day and you'll be able to
predict winning lottery numbers, sports teams and
(Ken: The pot gets sweeter and sweeter, winning lotto,
sports and stock!)

I'll show you how to find your home's MAGNETIC
MONEY POWER POINT in your secret guide FENG SHUI: XXX

So many of my overjoyed clients have sent me
letters telling me how they have benefited from the
power of FENG SHUI to attract money. It is my most
sincere wish that you too could someday send me a
letter like this:
"I set up the mirrors, fans and plants like you said.
I'd been unemployed and was down to the end of my
savings. I sat down in the MAGNETIC MONEY POWER POINT
and waited for a miracle. Five different people
called in the next hour, all asking for the same wrong
number. I played the number five plus that 'wrong'
number in the lottery, and guess what? I won 3
million dollars!"
(Ken: From now on, I won't swear at my wrong number

Good luck, incredible fortune and astonishing
amounts of money are out there. Direct them into your
home, work space and bank account with FENG SHUI!
(Ken: I'm drooling. Stop the BS and give me the

I've mentioned there's a MAGNETIC MONEY POWER POINT in
every home -- including yours! -- where money forces
converge and cross-energize. I want to make sure that
you know how to find this spot with one quick glance.
Along with your Feng Shui secret guide, I'll send you
a great gift - a visual diagram that reveals exactly
which part of your home is your MAGNETIC MONEY POWER
POINT. This diagram is called the Ba-gua. It's
beautifully printed in two colors. Use your Ba-gua to
find the exact location of your MAGNETIC MONEY POWER
POINT, then follow the instructions in your secret
guide to absorb that energy and become a money-making
(Ken: Me becoming a money-making magnet and you spend
my money?)

Yes, I'm completely certain FENG SHUI will turn
your home into a powerhouse of good fortune and help
you become a multi-millionaire. I'll back that claim
with an absolute guarantee. Order FENG SHUI: XXX
INSTANT WEALTH totally at my risk. I'll give you as
much time as you need to read it, follow the simple
instructions and make a million dollars.

This is your chance to become a member of the
FENG SHUI Millionaires Club.

You have nothing to lose, Ken. It's that simple.
Nothing to lose and millions to gain. And because
you are a friend of (Spammer name), I would be
delighted to offer you this invaluable guide for only
$9.95. That is 60 percent off the regular price,
which comes to a savings of over $15.00 for you
(Ken: Master XXX, please aim higher. This great
copy-writing deserves more than 10 bucks!)

and then, if you haven't made ONE MILLION DOLLARS
during your lifetime -- or if at any time, for any
reason, you are not completely satisfied -- just
return your secret guide and I'll immediately send you
a complete refund, including the shipping and handling
charge,...with no explanation necessary.
(Ken: This part is great! He does not lie at all.
Assuming an average American works 40 years for his
life time and makes as little as $25000 a year, he
will make his million.)

So you see, you don't have to take any chances to
begin a life filled with riches and good fortune! All
you have to do to get started is click the button

Don't let this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
slip by. Accept your Invitation to the FENG SHUI
Millionaires Club today!
(Ken: Cool, putting FSM next to my name on my biz card


Just click the button below and order FENG SHUI: XXX
INSTANT WEALTH, and you will receive as your second
FREE gift, your certificate for membership in the FENG

(Ken: Standard procedure for offer like this, offer
numerous "premium¨ to close the deal, but this is a
flimsy premium, Master XXX should offer something like
"how to grow your anatomy or boobs to any size you
want" etc. )

Ken: FS can't help you much in getting rich--- it is
your 4P that counts most! To learn more, go to "4P
Bootcamp" :.))

Ken Lai